I’ve only recently changed my Uber conversation preference setting to “happy to chat.” I normally would strike up a conversation anyways, but sometimes I feel less inclined to than others. I did this because I know that, in aggregate, I will be glad to have had all of the conversations possible with as many people as possible. You can learn something from everyone, no matter their age or where they are at in their lives, no matter if they are the janitor or the CEO, both can teach you about themselves, the world, and ultimately, yourself.
A brief conversation with a stranger can lead to a surprising connection, shared thread, or shared struggle. Every person we meet carries a piece of the puzzle we are trying to solve about ourselves. Whether through admiration, irritation, envy, or curiosity, our reactions to others reflects what lies beneath the surface of our identity. It’s not always what someone says or does, but how we respond to them that offers the most insight. Discomfort and fascination alike are not random but are reflections of areas that we can work on or cultivate.
I’ve come to believe that nearly everyone we interact with, not only speak with, teaches us something, even if unintentionally. The challenge lies not in listening more intently to others, but in having the awareness to understand how we respond. Have you ever noticed yourself reacting strongly to someone’s need for attention, and wondered why? Or felt small around someone’s confidence, or skeptical of another’s optimism, and asked yourself what that reaction says about you? Sometimes the most revealing questions come from moments we’d rather brush past.
It’s easy to think of self-knowledge as a solitary journey, but in many ways, it is a social one. We find ourselves chiseling away at the rock that forms our minds through one interaction at a time with others. Someone’s ambition might challenge our complacency. Someone’s kindness might highlight our own impatience. Others can awaken values we forgot we cared about or highlight insecurities we thought we buried.
One of the most humbling aspects of this realization is that even people we dislike may be offering us a lesson. This doesn’t mean everyone is meant to be in our lives for the long haul, but it does mean that every interaction has potential. The more that we are open to continuing to learn about ourselves, the more we begin to see the world as a mirror, with each word and action gracefully revealing more about who we are. This doesn’t mean we should overanalyze every glance or gesture. But when something stirs us, positively or negatively, it’s worth asking “What is this revealing about me?” What belief, fear, or longing is this showing me?
Self-awareness isn’t something we achieve and check off a list. It’s a lens that keeps adjusting focus as we move through life. And often, powerful adjustments can come not when we are sitting alone in reflection, but when we’re nudged by someone else’s way of being, or by a brief conversation with a stranger.
Every person, whether they realize it or not, gives us a choice: stay the same or discover something new about who we are. And in turn, everything we say or do offers others the same opportunity. So next time, even if you’re not in the mood, greet your Uber driver, nod to the janitor, and acknowledge those around you. You might teach them something and learn something about yourself in return.