Throughout my life, I've had several friendships that once felt inseparable but have since gradually drifted apart. In some cases, despite my efforts to maintain the connection, my attempts were not reciprocated. In others, mutual neglect played a role. Over time, new friends, partners, and responsibilities naturally filled the spaces previously occupied by past friends. For a long while, I viewed these fading friendships through a pessimistic lens, questioning their authenticity and even my own worth as a friend. Thoughts like, "Were they ever truly my friend if they couldn't even take a moment to check in?" frequently crossed my mind.
I've come to realize that this perspective misses something profound; it's perfectly okay for friendships to drift apart. The natural fading of a close friendship does not diminish the care, respect, or appreciation for one another that was once shared. Instead, it acknowledges that each friendship has its season and purpose in our lives. We contributed meaningfully to each other's growth during the time we shared, and moving on doesn't erase that value. Though this may initially appear as a purely utilitarian view, it is simply an acknowledgment of life's evolving nature.
Reflecting more deeply, I've recognized that lingering on unanswered messages or perceived neglect only breeds further resentment that the other person likely doesn't even carry. Instead of dwelling on thoughts like, "Did I give more to the friendship than I received?" I now choose to accept that we've both moved forward in life, each enriched by the relationship we once shared.
Specifically, there's a friend I often think about who significantly impacted my life. He taught me how to engage in and cherish deeply intellectual conversations, enriching my ability to critically think and communicate more effectively. While we no longer regularly speak, I’m confident that if we found ourselves in the same room again, our conversations would effortlessly resume, filled with laughter and genuine connection.
Whenever feelings of bitterness or regret arise about past friendships, I work to replace them with gratitude. Gratitude for the invaluable experiences, the shared laughter, and the mutual growth we enjoyed, even if only briefly. It is unquestionably healthier and more fulfilling to cherish the times we had rather than to mourn their absence. After endlessly researching quotes on friendship to thoughtfully conclude this essay, none precisely encapsulate my feelings, so instead I will leave you with a quote of my own: "Best friendship can only ever be given and not taken away, no matter how far you may grow apart."