Imagine swiping left or right on a dating app, reducing the choice of a potential partner to a single decision based solely on one factor: appearance. A simple action, but one that dismisses the complexity of the human mind to that of a caveman. Similarly, we frequently reduce our choices to two options: ice cold or boiling hot, yes or no, success or failure. I prefer my coffee somewhere in the middle — warm enough to be soothing but not so hot that you can't take a big sip if you feel like it. While I respect the timeless beauty of black and white films, we were meant to live life in full color. We are capable of viewing life through multiple dimensions simultaneously, discovering new directions of thought each and every single moment.
The appeal of binary choices lies in their simplicity. These choices often feel like a clear path, an easy decision that doesn’t require too much mental energy. But while simplicity has its place, life is not binary; it is a spectrum of both choices and outcomes, filled with nuance and complexity and countless shades between the two extremes.
When someone asks how you are, you're likely to say something like 'Good, how are you?' Chances are, you are not simply 'good' or 'bad.' Our emotions are much more complex than that, and reducing them to binary choices oversimplifies the richness of the human experience. While I understand that most of the time a one-word response is appropriate, when someone close to you asks how you are, consider taking the question literally and sharing more. You might surprise them, and both of you could benefit from a genuine exchange.
I’ve found that people often gravitate toward binaries because they offer the illusion of certainty. They let us categorize, organize, and even judge quickly. The next time you face a binary decision, imagine the spectrum of 1 to 10, where the extremes lie at either end. But there’s one twist—you can’t pick the comfortable middle, the “7.” The number 7 represents the easy answer, the one we choose when we don’t really want to commit one way or the other. If you're at a “6,” what would push you closer to an “8?” What do those incremental steps feel like, and what do they say about what you really want?
Some choices, and products of nature, are, of course, binary. You can't be both here and there simultaneously. Your coffee can’t be both hot and cold. But many decisions, especially those that shape our growth, happiness, and relationships, aren’t about choosing one of two roads. They are about looking beyond any of the set paths in front of you, whether that is left or right or even straight, and forging your own even if that is not clearly defined.
Dimensions of thought are ever evolving. After a good night’s rest, new paths illuminate, reminding us that clarity often comes when we give our minds the freedom to wander and rest. The key lies in embracing this process, allowing ourselves to explore multiple perspectives without rushing to conclusions. When we do, we not only expand our understanding but also unlock the potential to see opportunities where before there seemed to be none.